My fingers are crossed...

Along with lots of praying, I am keeping my fingers crossed that the news of Joey coming home earlier then August will actually happen. The news is that the last flight to leave Iraq is July 1st. So I am praying, hoping, wishing, and keeping my fingers crossed that this will happen.

But I am also being careful not to get my hopes up to high because I can't forget that I am dealing with the army and anything can change! Nothing is set in stone when it comes to the military!

But I will continue to pray and keep my fingers crossed!

And

We will see what happens.................

Letter to a military spouse

While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you or your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.

I, as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.

I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.

I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You!

(Author Unknown)

Grace in Small Things

So I have Raina and Sarah to thank for giving me this idea. I love reading about the small things in life that help them get through each day and week. Right now with Joey being gone I tend to find myself being more negative then usual. I am hoping this will help me focus more on the positive things going on our lives.

1. Joey~ I am so grateful to have in my life. He is a hero and I am so incredibly blessed to not only have him as my husband but as my best friend as well!

2. I love coming home everyday to Duke. I am so grateful that I don't have to come home to an empty house every night. Instead I come home to a very energetic dog who no matter what is always happy to see me! He gives me something to do and gets me out of the house even when I would rather just hide in bed all day. He has no idea how much he is loved and just how important he is to us. Can't imagine life without him.

3. Our families~who are far away but are constantly checking in with me making sure I am okay. I look forward to their phone calls everyday even when they are really short. Having their support means the world to me!

4. My weekly cards from Joey's mom just letting me know that they are thinking and praying for me. Love them!

5. Work~I am so grateful that I am able to go to work everyday and stay busy. Not only do I get to work with amazing kids, but I have made such great friends who have helped me in more ways then they will ever know!

6. Waking up or coming home to an email from Joey! During the week this is our only form of communication because our schedules are so different with the time change. It usually makes my day. I don't think he even realizes just how important those emails are to me, even when they are super short, all that matters is that I have heard from him!

I have lots to be thank-full for, even during a time like this when Joey and are separated. It definitely sucks that he is not here, but we are getting through it together by staying strong for each other and with lots of support from our families and friends.

This day can pass right on by.....

Half of my heart is deployed.
~Author Unknown

Seeing everyone with their families today has been really difficult for me. Makes me miss Joey even more then I already do. It is hard knowing that I am here, he is there, and our families are all together at home. Times like this really make me wish that we lived closer to home.

But I am so thankful to a lady that I work with who has just been so WONDERFUL to me! She pretty much has invited me into her family, which is wonderful and very inviting as well. So today I went to church with her and then went out to brunch with her family. It was really nice and I am so thankful to her for taking me in so I didn't have to spend all of today alone!

Although at times today I wish I could of just curled up in bed with Duke and wished this day away. But so far I haven't and no matter how tempted I may be to do that I won't! I will keep pushing on! My plans for the rest of the day are to hopefully take Duke for an Easter walk, work on some baby shower invitations, laundry, and hang-up some pictures in the study! Mostly just try to stay busy so that I am not left thinking. Never before have I ever looked so forward to going back to work on Monday! And every Monday that goes by is one Monday closer to Joey coming home!

Doggy Heaven

As I am writing this I am watching Duke go CRAZY. I am pretty sure that if Duke was able to tell God exactly what he wanted his heaven to look like, this would be it for him!



A lady from work told me about this park here in Killeen that has some really nice trails and a nice lake. I was excited because we all know how hot it gets in Texas, so to find a place that is closer to home that has a lake for Duke to cool off in is so great! So I got directions from her and last weekend I packed Duke and I up and off we went to explore this new place.

There are 2 parts to the park, one is a campground/picnic & beach area that you have to pay to get in. It is very nice, but Duke has to be on a leash and that is hard when you want to play fetch with him in the water. And they have people who are always supervising to make sure the rule is followed. The other part is free and has all these trails to hike. I of course decided the free route was the best route for us. I knew that if I found a quiet trail I would be able to let Duke run free. Well, we found one and the best part is it takes us right to the lake. It is perfect for him to run wild and swim. What more could a Labrador ask for besides maybe a doggy friend to go crazy with.

For me it is so peaceful, we are usually the only ones there, sometimes a few fisherman, but they are a ways away. It has become a place to go and get out of the house, get some sun and hangout with the Dukey Duke. It has become our little haven away from home.

The only thing that is missing is Joey and then it would be absolutely perfect. It will definitely be one of the first places we take him when he gets back!

UPDATE

So it has been a long time since I have written on here and A LOT has happened since then!

~First, we are no longer in San Antonio. We have moved north a couple of hours to the Fort Hood, Killeen area.

~We bought a house and have had lots of fun working on making it our own!!

~I got a job as an aide working with 1st graders and I absolutely love it!

~Joey got deployed =(
2 weeks after we had been in Killeen, Joey got news that he would be deploying at the end of February. Even though I knew at some point this would happen, I was still a mess! It is like death, even if you know it is going to happen, it still knocks you down and literally takes the wind out of your sail. But after a couple days of allowing myself to be an emotional mess, I pulled myself together, not only for him but me as well.
The month and half before he left was just CRAZY! It was a lot of him scrabbling around to get everything done. Including some major dental work which I will go into more detail in minute. During this time though we were very lucky to be able to go home and surprise both of our families. I think it meant a lot to our families that they were able to see Joey before he left.
Exactly a week before he was to leave, Joey had to go to the dentist. It is one of the pre-deployment requirements for him to deploy. Well he needed to get some major dental work done, including getting one of his wisdom teeth out.
That final week together was completely crazy. I was able to take some days off of work, which was really great. I tried to just take in every moment we had together because I knew it would be awhile before we were back together again. It was hard though because he was in a lot of pain from all his dental work and as the week went on it progressively got worse. We went to the doctor early the morning he was to leave. He tested negative for strep and they wanted to do further testing, but because this was all taking so long, Joey had to leave. I feel as if the doctor should of stopped him and said you are not going anywhere until we figure out what is going on! But that of course did not happen.
After 2 days of traveling, he finally got to Kuwait and was feeling worse then when he left. He went to the doctor the next morning, who couldn't believe they sent him in the condition he was in. Give him some medicine told him to get some rest and come back if he wasn't feeling better the next day. Well the next day he felt worse, so they took him by ambulance to a Kuwait hospital where he met with an oral surgeon. The doctor said he was lucky he came in when he did because if he waited much longer his throat would have closed, possibly causing him to suffocate. In the end he had 3 large size ulcers on the back of his throat, taking 3 tube fulls of puss from the back of his throat and then cutting them to allow any puss that was not taken out to drain. He spent 2 days in the hospital so they could monitor him for infection. During this time I was a complete mess, especially when I didn't hear from. I eventually got the Kuwait hospitals number and called it, finding out he was just discharged!
So after spending almost 3 weeks in Kuwait, recovering and getting some more dental work done he finally made it to Iraq. He has been in Iraq now for about a week and a half. So far so good, well as good as can be considering where he is. It is completely different from when he was there the last time. He seems to be keeping busy with work, the gym, and reading. He has a room all to himself, which is really nice. He has internet in his room and now has a TV with cable. He is very excited because he will get to watch wrestle mania!! He is also going to be playing basketball a couple times a week in the morning.
For me knowing that he is keeping busy helps a lot. The first three weeks was absolutely terrible, I was completely stressed, barely eating, crying all the time, and just going through the motions of everyday life with no emotion. I got so worn down I ended up getting sick with a really yucky cold. But since he has gotten to Iraq and things seem to of settled down for him, I was able to start to work on getting into a new routine to help keep me busy.
Work has been a complete blessing for me, it keeps me busy and gets me out of the house during the day! If I didn't have work I can honestly say I would probably go crazy. It helps pass the time, as my days have been flying by.
Also, my parents and Katy came for a week, during my spring break. They came ready to work as we tore out the carpet and linoleum in the kitchen, living room, and study! It looks AMAZING. Looks like a completely different house! It was also so nice to have them here, Duke was so happy and it was such a nice distraction after everything that had happened! Thanks Dad, Mom, and Katy!


Well that is what has all happened since my last post! Amazing how fast life can change. The one thing I have learned in our short time of being in the Army is that I must get used to change. Definitely, a big challenge for me, but one I am sure I will get lots of practice getting used to! We are definitely on an adventure!

Happy Thanksgiving (a week late-haha)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Thanksgiving this year was very different for us.

Instead of spending it with family in Wisconsin, we spent it 1300 miles away in Texas with new friends.

Instead of my mom or Joey's mom making the big dinner, I prepared the majority of the feast!

These are some of my favorite moments of our very different, but very special Thanksgiving!

*Preparing my first Thanksgiving feast and it actually turning out (minus the gravy)

(Here are some pictures, sad that I forgot to take a picture of the turkey finished and just didn't take as many pictures as I would of liked)

*Sharing this day with new friends

*Providing a place for those who weren't able to go home to be with their families either with yummy food and fun times

*Duke and Syd playing together outside

*Catch Phrase

*Wine

*Joey and all his help and support

*Talking to all our family, including some that we don't talk to all that often

*Not overeating this year, I was way to busy to eat a ton

*Watching the Packers Win!!

Overall I have to say Thanksgiving was a success! Kind of excited to it again! Maybe next year! Hope you all had a wonderful day too!