Leaving =(

So we are on the 3rd and final week of Joey having to go out to the field! You would think that because this is the 3rd week in a row that I would be used to him going! But to be completely honest, I think it has gotten harder! For as many times as Joey and I have been apart, I can honestly say it has never gotten easier! I HATE being away from him! I also want to say that as much as I love that he comes home on the weekends, it is also kind of tease because Saturday is catch up day for both of us and Sunday is packing and preparing for him leaving again! Like I said it is almost a tease!!! I am so excited for this weekend because it is the first weekend we don't have to worry about him leaving again hanging over our heads, we can actually just enjoy each other with hopefully no big worries!


Technically, I am not supposed to be here with him, so him being gone for a week rather then us being apart for almost 4 months is really nothing! A lot of people say to me in 20 years you will want to have a week away from each other, which maybe true, but then I look at my parents and they hate being away from each other and they have been married for almost 30 years! I can't say for sure that I won't wish for this, but as of right now I don't think I will. I married Joey because I want to be with him, he is my best friend and life without him is not the same, even if it is just a week!

Whats hard for me is that while he is away I think about him getting deployed, not sure why? But I think it sometimes reminds me of how good I have it right now, because he could be gone for a year or longer! For some reason though, deployment is always in the back of my head and I hate that, but realistically chances of this happening in the future are pretty high! It scares me because I don't know what I would do and how I would handle it! It scares the living crap out of me! But lots of wives have gone through not only 1 deployment, but sometimes 2 or 3. So I know I will get through it with the support of other wives who are in similar situations and the support of both of our families and friends! But thinking about it definitely makes me sick to my stomach!

But at the same time I knew this was always a possibility and I knew what I was getting into for the most part and I chose this lifestyle, because I LOVE & WANT to be with Joey! Has it been difficult? You bet! Will it continue to be difficult? Probably, cant say for sure but I am sure it will, I mean we are dealing with the US Army!! I feel like I will be able to get through anything they put on our plate as long as he is by my side! But I need him by my side!!

So it has taken me awhile to write this, not sure why exactly, but it has! I think I just don't want to come off like I am complaining and that I want others to feel sorry for me! Because I don't, its just that I love Joey and hate being away from him! This is kind of my way to vent out loud and get my feelings out! To me blogging is kind of like a public diary, I can document our lives through blogging and share my thoughts and feelings as well! To me it is so much better then actually writing in a diary and I am a lot better at this then I ever was in writing in a diary, and I really am not very good at this either! But I definitely like this much better!

Thanks to everyone who reads this for listening to me! Nice to get my feelings out like this rather then just vocalizing them all the time!

Hate that I am wishing this week away, but I am! I want it to go fast so he can be back home! So I am praying for Friday to come fast this week! Friday can't come fast enough!!