This day can pass right on by.....

Half of my heart is deployed.
~Author Unknown

Seeing everyone with their families today has been really difficult for me. Makes me miss Joey even more then I already do. It is hard knowing that I am here, he is there, and our families are all together at home. Times like this really make me wish that we lived closer to home.

But I am so thankful to a lady that I work with who has just been so WONDERFUL to me! She pretty much has invited me into her family, which is wonderful and very inviting as well. So today I went to church with her and then went out to brunch with her family. It was really nice and I am so thankful to her for taking me in so I didn't have to spend all of today alone!

Although at times today I wish I could of just curled up in bed with Duke and wished this day away. But so far I haven't and no matter how tempted I may be to do that I won't! I will keep pushing on! My plans for the rest of the day are to hopefully take Duke for an Easter walk, work on some baby shower invitations, laundry, and hang-up some pictures in the study! Mostly just try to stay busy so that I am not left thinking. Never before have I ever looked so forward to going back to work on Monday! And every Monday that goes by is one Monday closer to Joey coming home!

Doggy Heaven

As I am writing this I am watching Duke go CRAZY. I am pretty sure that if Duke was able to tell God exactly what he wanted his heaven to look like, this would be it for him!



A lady from work told me about this park here in Killeen that has some really nice trails and a nice lake. I was excited because we all know how hot it gets in Texas, so to find a place that is closer to home that has a lake for Duke to cool off in is so great! So I got directions from her and last weekend I packed Duke and I up and off we went to explore this new place.

There are 2 parts to the park, one is a campground/picnic & beach area that you have to pay to get in. It is very nice, but Duke has to be on a leash and that is hard when you want to play fetch with him in the water. And they have people who are always supervising to make sure the rule is followed. The other part is free and has all these trails to hike. I of course decided the free route was the best route for us. I knew that if I found a quiet trail I would be able to let Duke run free. Well, we found one and the best part is it takes us right to the lake. It is perfect for him to run wild and swim. What more could a Labrador ask for besides maybe a doggy friend to go crazy with.

For me it is so peaceful, we are usually the only ones there, sometimes a few fisherman, but they are a ways away. It has become a place to go and get out of the house, get some sun and hangout with the Dukey Duke. It has become our little haven away from home.

The only thing that is missing is Joey and then it would be absolutely perfect. It will definitely be one of the first places we take him when he gets back!

UPDATE

So it has been a long time since I have written on here and A LOT has happened since then!

~First, we are no longer in San Antonio. We have moved north a couple of hours to the Fort Hood, Killeen area.

~We bought a house and have had lots of fun working on making it our own!!

~I got a job as an aide working with 1st graders and I absolutely love it!

~Joey got deployed =(
2 weeks after we had been in Killeen, Joey got news that he would be deploying at the end of February. Even though I knew at some point this would happen, I was still a mess! It is like death, even if you know it is going to happen, it still knocks you down and literally takes the wind out of your sail. But after a couple days of allowing myself to be an emotional mess, I pulled myself together, not only for him but me as well.
The month and half before he left was just CRAZY! It was a lot of him scrabbling around to get everything done. Including some major dental work which I will go into more detail in minute. During this time though we were very lucky to be able to go home and surprise both of our families. I think it meant a lot to our families that they were able to see Joey before he left.
Exactly a week before he was to leave, Joey had to go to the dentist. It is one of the pre-deployment requirements for him to deploy. Well he needed to get some major dental work done, including getting one of his wisdom teeth out.
That final week together was completely crazy. I was able to take some days off of work, which was really great. I tried to just take in every moment we had together because I knew it would be awhile before we were back together again. It was hard though because he was in a lot of pain from all his dental work and as the week went on it progressively got worse. We went to the doctor early the morning he was to leave. He tested negative for strep and they wanted to do further testing, but because this was all taking so long, Joey had to leave. I feel as if the doctor should of stopped him and said you are not going anywhere until we figure out what is going on! But that of course did not happen.
After 2 days of traveling, he finally got to Kuwait and was feeling worse then when he left. He went to the doctor the next morning, who couldn't believe they sent him in the condition he was in. Give him some medicine told him to get some rest and come back if he wasn't feeling better the next day. Well the next day he felt worse, so they took him by ambulance to a Kuwait hospital where he met with an oral surgeon. The doctor said he was lucky he came in when he did because if he waited much longer his throat would have closed, possibly causing him to suffocate. In the end he had 3 large size ulcers on the back of his throat, taking 3 tube fulls of puss from the back of his throat and then cutting them to allow any puss that was not taken out to drain. He spent 2 days in the hospital so they could monitor him for infection. During this time I was a complete mess, especially when I didn't hear from. I eventually got the Kuwait hospitals number and called it, finding out he was just discharged!
So after spending almost 3 weeks in Kuwait, recovering and getting some more dental work done he finally made it to Iraq. He has been in Iraq now for about a week and a half. So far so good, well as good as can be considering where he is. It is completely different from when he was there the last time. He seems to be keeping busy with work, the gym, and reading. He has a room all to himself, which is really nice. He has internet in his room and now has a TV with cable. He is very excited because he will get to watch wrestle mania!! He is also going to be playing basketball a couple times a week in the morning.
For me knowing that he is keeping busy helps a lot. The first three weeks was absolutely terrible, I was completely stressed, barely eating, crying all the time, and just going through the motions of everyday life with no emotion. I got so worn down I ended up getting sick with a really yucky cold. But since he has gotten to Iraq and things seem to of settled down for him, I was able to start to work on getting into a new routine to help keep me busy.
Work has been a complete blessing for me, it keeps me busy and gets me out of the house during the day! If I didn't have work I can honestly say I would probably go crazy. It helps pass the time, as my days have been flying by.
Also, my parents and Katy came for a week, during my spring break. They came ready to work as we tore out the carpet and linoleum in the kitchen, living room, and study! It looks AMAZING. Looks like a completely different house! It was also so nice to have them here, Duke was so happy and it was such a nice distraction after everything that had happened! Thanks Dad, Mom, and Katy!


Well that is what has all happened since my last post! Amazing how fast life can change. The one thing I have learned in our short time of being in the Army is that I must get used to change. Definitely, a big challenge for me, but one I am sure I will get lots of practice getting used to! We are definitely on an adventure!

Happy Thanksgiving (a week late-haha)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Thanksgiving this year was very different for us.

Instead of spending it with family in Wisconsin, we spent it 1300 miles away in Texas with new friends.

Instead of my mom or Joey's mom making the big dinner, I prepared the majority of the feast!

These are some of my favorite moments of our very different, but very special Thanksgiving!

*Preparing my first Thanksgiving feast and it actually turning out (minus the gravy)

(Here are some pictures, sad that I forgot to take a picture of the turkey finished and just didn't take as many pictures as I would of liked)

*Sharing this day with new friends

*Providing a place for those who weren't able to go home to be with their families either with yummy food and fun times

*Duke and Syd playing together outside

*Catch Phrase

*Wine

*Joey and all his help and support

*Talking to all our family, including some that we don't talk to all that often

*Not overeating this year, I was way to busy to eat a ton

*Watching the Packers Win!!

Overall I have to say Thanksgiving was a success! Kind of excited to it again! Maybe next year! Hope you all had a wonderful day too!

Question

Okay so I have a question??

First, I will give you some background info before I get to the actual question.

For our wedding we used Warrens Videography for our pictures and our video! They are great to work with and do Amazing work. But unfortunately it takes forever to get anything from them! We first got our pictures at the end of June, which was 7 months after our wedding! We were supposed to get them 6 weeks after we turned our order in, which was I believe the end of January! AND they also messed up on my order, no biggie in the end because I got plenty of pictures and have a CD of them all, but still! Also in our photo package we got a book, which was also supposed to be to us after 6 weeks. Guess when we received this??? October, 1 month before our 1 year anniversary! I just feel like this is ridiculous especially because they had no problems cashing our check right away!

So the big question is about our video? In their contract they said they have a year to produce it, which was fine with me! But guess what still no video and it is over a year now. My mom emailed her to ask her if they could bring anything to us when they came to visit us at the end of October and she said they haven't even started on ours and have 3 other productions before ours! AHHHHH this makes me so mad! So I am not sure what to do? I don't want to be rude or necessarily hurry them and get a crappy video, but I feel like they are in the wrong because they are not following their contract. I mean what is the point of a contract if you don't follow it.

So I just emailed her asking about it and said I want it by Christmas because we hopefully are going home and would love to watch it with our families! But what if she says it wouldn't be done? I just don't know what to do??

Any suggestions???

Dogs are AMAZING!!!

So I have always loved dogs! We had 3 dogs (at different times) when I was growing up. And I was devastated every time something happened to them or when they had to go to different homes, even Wilbur who was not even a nice dog!

Then I lived with Raina and she got Bailee! I love Bailee and always will, but with Duke he is different! He is very special to me! One main reason is because he is ours, Joey's and mine! He is something that we share together and have to take care of, he relies on us, we are his human parents!

One of the other main reasons he is so very special to me is the fact that, besides Joey, he is my best friend! When Joey left this summer to go to Washington, we had no plans on getting a dog, yes we wanted one and thought we would get one when we moved, but not as soon as we did. I think it was the 1st official full day Joey was gone, I was looking at classifieds for a 2nd job and got sidetracked by looking at the pet section! And guess what I found YELLOW LAB PUPPIES for sale! So I called and got all the info, talked to Joey, and did lots of research on if we did go to Korea if we would be able to bring him! That Sunday I went to go meet the puppies and picked out our little Dukey!!

Now I did not get to take Duke home with me that day, I had to wait about 2 weeks, but I was so excited! I knew it was going to be a very long 30+ days without Joey, but by getting Duke he gave me something to get excited about while Joey was gone, he gave me a purpose. Those 2 weeks before I got him, I prepared for him, did lots of shopping, and of course went to visit him as much as I could!

Then I got him and WOW, dogs are a lot of work especially when you are all by yourself! I was up every hour on the hour walking down the hall and stairs with him in my arms to take outside so he could do his job! Then getting him to calm down and go back to sleep, craziness! Needless to say I was pretty exhausted! But I would do it all over again if I had to!

Then I got to see Joey meet Duke and watch them bond! And boy did they bond quickly, best friends instantly! As a wife it is so amazing to see your husband be a daddy, sure he is a daddy to a dog, but it only makes me feel more confident in the fact that I know he will be an AWESOME dad to our kids! I mean if he is amazing with a dog, you know he is going to be amazing with kids! He always said that a dog was first then kids!! Can't wait!

I also have to say that this move to Texas would have been a lot harder for me to adjust had we of never of gotten Duke. Joey has had some really long days and has been gone for 3 weeks, so it has been just Duke and I a lot! No matter how much I miss Joey and am sad, I can't just stay in the apartment and cry! Duke forces me to face the outside world even when I don't want to! If I don't want him to go to the bathroom in the house I have to take him out, if I don't want him to go crazy and ruin things I have to exercise him! Because I am outside so much with him, I am getting to meet lots of people I don't think I would of ever met. For example, we met a great couple at the dog park who just happened to be from Wisconsin too! Instantly we have a connection and hangout quite a bit! We have also met lots of neighbors. One neighbor in general has a dog too and the dogs love playing together! It is awesome, they play and we chit chat! Tomorrow Duke even has a play date with Syd and possibly our neighbor too! Never would I of thought I would be having a play date for my dog, but it is awesome because he is so tired after and I get to socialize with a friend or friends!

Not only has Duke allowed me to meet some really great people, he also keeps me company when Joey is gone! I have a constant shadow, everywhere I go Duke follows. It is also very special for me to see just how much Dukey misses his daddy! He knows when we get on post because he starts whining and as soon as Joey leaves he stares out after him whining! He will also sit by the door waiting for him and any noise he hears he stands up, tail starts wagging, all in hopes that his daddy will walk thru the door!

So special, I think really he loves us!

Having a dog is amazing, they love you unconditionally! Even if you stink, are fat, skinny, short, tall, a geek, and even if you are mean, they still love you! Dogs can actually teach us humans a lesson or two! All I know is I am so grateful that Duke is in our lives, he definitely brings us so much happiness!

We love you Dukey Duke!!!

Leaving =(

So we are on the 3rd and final week of Joey having to go out to the field! You would think that because this is the 3rd week in a row that I would be used to him going! But to be completely honest, I think it has gotten harder! For as many times as Joey and I have been apart, I can honestly say it has never gotten easier! I HATE being away from him! I also want to say that as much as I love that he comes home on the weekends, it is also kind of tease because Saturday is catch up day for both of us and Sunday is packing and preparing for him leaving again! Like I said it is almost a tease!!! I am so excited for this weekend because it is the first weekend we don't have to worry about him leaving again hanging over our heads, we can actually just enjoy each other with hopefully no big worries!


Technically, I am not supposed to be here with him, so him being gone for a week rather then us being apart for almost 4 months is really nothing! A lot of people say to me in 20 years you will want to have a week away from each other, which maybe true, but then I look at my parents and they hate being away from each other and they have been married for almost 30 years! I can't say for sure that I won't wish for this, but as of right now I don't think I will. I married Joey because I want to be with him, he is my best friend and life without him is not the same, even if it is just a week!

Whats hard for me is that while he is away I think about him getting deployed, not sure why? But I think it sometimes reminds me of how good I have it right now, because he could be gone for a year or longer! For some reason though, deployment is always in the back of my head and I hate that, but realistically chances of this happening in the future are pretty high! It scares me because I don't know what I would do and how I would handle it! It scares the living crap out of me! But lots of wives have gone through not only 1 deployment, but sometimes 2 or 3. So I know I will get through it with the support of other wives who are in similar situations and the support of both of our families and friends! But thinking about it definitely makes me sick to my stomach!

But at the same time I knew this was always a possibility and I knew what I was getting into for the most part and I chose this lifestyle, because I LOVE & WANT to be with Joey! Has it been difficult? You bet! Will it continue to be difficult? Probably, cant say for sure but I am sure it will, I mean we are dealing with the US Army!! I feel like I will be able to get through anything they put on our plate as long as he is by my side! But I need him by my side!!

So it has taken me awhile to write this, not sure why exactly, but it has! I think I just don't want to come off like I am complaining and that I want others to feel sorry for me! Because I don't, its just that I love Joey and hate being away from him! This is kind of my way to vent out loud and get my feelings out! To me blogging is kind of like a public diary, I can document our lives through blogging and share my thoughts and feelings as well! To me it is so much better then actually writing in a diary and I am a lot better at this then I ever was in writing in a diary, and I really am not very good at this either! But I definitely like this much better!

Thanks to everyone who reads this for listening to me! Nice to get my feelings out like this rather then just vocalizing them all the time!

Hate that I am wishing this week away, but I am! I want it to go fast so he can be back home! So I am praying for Friday to come fast this week! Friday can't come fast enough!!